The good, the bad, the best, and the (not-so)ugly.

Today is officially day 29 of my cycle and although I am never late, I am officially 1.5 days late.  Not that I think this 'means' anything... I think my cycle is a bit messed up from the clomid.  I have some catching up to do...

The Bad... (I know this isn't in order.. I am taking artistic liberties)
I took the clomid, I had a pain, the pain persisted, I went to the Dr.  She told me my ovary was swollen and (gasp!) I probably had cysts and I would have to take the next cycle off.  I went for an ultrasound and found there is nothing wrong, a bit of fluid.
The Good
Not only do I not have to take the next cycle off, for pesky fluid but I was also able to catch a rare glimpse of my uterus!! YEA!!!  Why is this such a big deal?  Well...
The (not-so) Ugly
A few years ago I had a late miscarriage and was informed, hours after I was told 'there is no heartbeat', that I had a 'heart-shaped' uterus and it should never affect my chances of getting or staying pregnant.  Unfortunately, I was in no shape to ask questions at the time. I was a blubbering mess, positive the doctor was just telling me this news to file it away and in fact it was much worse than he was letting on. Fast forward to now... we are trying to get pregnant and I have, of course, conducted countless hours of on-line research and found this condition, a bi-cornate uterus, is actually pretty significant.  It causes a substantial increase in miscarriages and if you can stay pregnant, you almost always have to have a c-section.  So of course the notion of a screwed up uterus and a higher than normal chance of having another miscarriage has been resting on my shoulders like Dodge Ram.  It wasn't anything I could shake and I was overly concerned that when I DID get knocked up, I would spend the first few months freaking out that my 'condition' was super bad... because WHO get's to see their uterus, like ever?!  I would have to wait until my first ultrasound to see the damaged goods for myself.. and perhaps by then, it would be too late.  but I did!!!  I saw it!!!! and it is 'perfect'!!! My ultrasound tech said is might be ever so slightly heart shaped and with all the tiny eggs just waiting in both ovaries, I should have NO problems getting pregnant!!!

Phew - are you caught up?

So while I am 99% certain this cycle didn't work I am A-OK with it!! Because it gave me the opportunity to look inside and assure myself I am ok.. something no one else could have done.  I needed to see it for myself.  No Turkey Jerky here!!

The Best
I have an amazingly good feeling about this next cycle.  I think perhaps my concern was prohibiting me from getting pregnant.  I know I should be sad I am out this month but my heart is go darned happy to know I am ok, there is no room for sadness.